Things that slightly annoy me: 2

Continued from: here 

People who “say it how it is” slightly annoy me.  There is no indication that what they say actually is, is “how it is”; or if it is: there is no indication that is how it should be.  Does Alan Sugar really put the best people through The Apprentice or are they sometimes rash, ill-considered opinions?  Does Simon Cowell really know what makes a successful singer or does he simply know how to get a Christmas number one?

In real life, it is surprising how ‘telling it like it is’ correlates with the person who has the loudest mouth, is the most sarcastic, or who judges others far more than themselves.  Also, the person’s opinion always seems to be describable by a mix of the following adjectives: certain, unambiguous, radical, exciting, controversial, ill-nuanced, unmitigated.  We live in a funny world where the opinion adjudged to be the closest to reality never happens to be one that is ‘matter-of-fact’ or recognises complexity.

It is precisely seen as a virtue, and not a vice, of an opinion that it is unmitigated and unambiguous.  Gone are the social conventions that prevent you telling the truth.  No longer are minor issues allowed to obfuscate major ones.   False or pernicious ideas are no longer protected because other people believe them.  However, the above virtues only hold if the opinions are true or at least, well-considered.  Too often we should agree with Peter Ustinov, “Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.”

Valuing people who ‘say how it is’ is generally a licence for people to say whatever crass, prejudiced and foolish things ‘come to mind’.  Now, opinions stated with utter conviction are more likely to come across as true.  Equally, an opinion that comes to their mind will also come to other people's’ minds and so believed.   However, this is no guarantee that the opinion is any good.  Often what comes to my mind in response to a situation is “F**k, Sh**, B*^&!”ks, W^%k”- yet there is a good reason why those of us without Tourette’s Syndrome inhibit those responses.  A little silence, contemplation and good old-fashioned British Civillity go a long way.  They allow us to take on-board additional information, see things from a different perspective and come to an appropriate response.

As the Talmud says: “If silence be good for the wise, how much better for fools”

Things that slightly annoy me 1

This ‘slight annoyance’ is something that has happened many times to me, including the other day.  Imagine the scene: There is a Big Issue seller who is asking passer-by after passer-by to buy the magazine off them and they just get ignored.  As such, you resolve to buy one off them, get your money ready and approach them.  After handing your money across, they reveal a single magazine in a ripped plastic bag and ask, “Do you want the magazine?… It’s just that it is my last one…”

Do I want a magazine?  I have no idea whether I want a magazine but I paid for one.  Firstly, for them to keep it is explicitly against the Big Issue rules which are written inside.  As such, I’m perfectly within my rights to take it.  Secondly, it is entirely against the spirit of the enterprise.  They are meant to be “working, not begging”- selling you an item you want and earning the proceeds, and not guilt tripping you into giving them money.  Whilst most people do get it just for charity and not to read, a transaction should at least take place.

Of course, however, you can’t in reality take the magazine.  Doing it after they have taken your money puts you in an awkward position.  I would like to say that I “don’t have the heart” to take it, and that I don’t want to be responsible for them to be without food for the day.  In reality, however, I think they are being a tad dishonest but am concerned with appearing to be a stingy Jew.  This really is something that to a large extent, really very “slightly annoys” me.